Letter to Carol

Dear Carol,

When they invited me to do LILIA! as their season opener, I wasn't going to say NO to 15 performances in Vancouver.  But when I saw the space configuration, I worried.  Lilia! is staged for a proscenium, maybe a thrust - NOT for in-the-round or alley.  The first two days here I had intense rehearsals with one of the theatre staff members familiar with performing in the space.  We restaged the entire show.  The opening speech "To be nominated for an Academy Award for Lilies of the Field is really lovely . . . "  I deliver as I'm walking through the audience, down the aisle steps onto the stage.  The hardest point to get was that the audience was okay with my back to them sometimes.  Initially I found myself spinning like a top in mid-sentence so everyone in the theatre could see me for every sentence.  My "consulting director" got me to let go of that.  He worked me from morning to night for the two days - reworking muddy areas where the energy was getting dispersed in the room rather than staying focused with me.  We reblocked, etc.
 
He got me picking up the pace, picking up cues, making more immediate transitions - whew!  He was tireless.  I've never worked with anyone on the show for that many hours non-stop.  (I haven't been able to afford it since people either volunteered their time with me and I didn't want to take too much, or else I paid them hourly).  It was quite a luxury, though exhausting.
 
By opening night, I let go of all the pacing notes, etc. and just focused on my breath.  That was all.  I sensed this slowed me down a bit, because I took the time to take breaths when I otherwise might have plowed through.  At the end there were three curtain calls.  Usually there are just two.  The applause was very strong and very long - no standing ovation.  There was a reception afterwards and the Artistic Director of Pacific Theatre said he was so sorry that I couldn't stay in Vancouver because he would love to act on stage with me (he's in at least one show per season). 
 
I thanked him for choosing my play.  I told him most artistic directors are interested through word-of-mouth and the reviews.  But once they read the play, they don't want to do it.  He said, "I would have been crazy not to pick your play.  It was a no-brainer. When Ian (my fellow-castmate from TWELFE NIGHT) said what a nice person you are to work with, gave us the press packet and I saw the reviews, then I read the script, there was no question in my mind that we had to do it!"  I said, "Thank you for having the insight to perceive in the play what not everyone picks up on!"
 
He said he could see how some artistic directors might be turned off by the religious element in the script (references to God, prayer, Deuteronomy and Elisha).  He said maybe those artistic directors aren't familiar with their audience.  But he said it wasn't a problem for him because the mission of the theatre is:  "to serve Christ in our community by creating excellent theatre with artistic, spiritual, relational and financial integrity."
 
I had been a bit wary of the notion of doing this for a "Christian" theatre company.  Because the show is way too universal to be pegged a "Christian" show.  I was so grateful when three women came up to me after the show last night and said to me, "We have a question for you.  Are you Jewish?"  I said, "No.  Why, are you?"  They said, "Yes."  I said, "I'm so glad you came because I didn't want this show to be exclusively for Christian audiences."  They said, "You mean because this theatre is located in a church?"  I said, "Yes,"  I didn't mention the mission statement of the theatre, which they may not have known.  They wanted to know which part of my family was Jewish and so on.  I told them that the Jewish members of my family were mostly "assimilated" by the time they immigrated here.  That my Jewish great-grandfather made sure his three daughters were baptized Catholic because that was the surest way he thought they would succeed in the Austro-Hungarian Empire.  These women said, "Yes, the same with our families who immigrated to Canada.  Many of the members converted to Christianity.  The first reason was to succeed.  The second was for survival.  We hope that our grandchildren will convert back to Judaism. 
 
Board members of the theatre thanked me and said they were so proud of this show opening their season.  The publicist told me how proud she was that Pacific Theatre was doing this show.  For the first time people are asking me, "Did you ever find love?" (referring to "I would have to marry for love, Grandmother.")  
 
There were a number of reviewers there opening night (Friday) and more came on Saturday night.  The Saturday matinee was very responsive, and at the curtain call quite a few people got to their feet.  Saturday night was exciting!  The minute the lights came up for the curtain call nearly the whole theatre - and it was a full house - 120 people - leapt to their feet and were calling out.  There was a man in the front row who kept yelling "Huge!  Huge!"  I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but I felt his enthusiasm.
 
Now I have three days off - Sunday through Tuesday.  Back on stage Wednesday.  I must say, I am soooo grateful for this breath work you have taught me.  An actress who has frequently worked with the artistic director of the theatre said to me afterwards, "I love the way you use your hands. Oh no!  I hope that doesn't distract you onstage now that I've said that!  Ron (the artistic director) forbids us to read the reviews or to listen to anything about our performances positive or negative, because he said that it will take us out of the scene on stage - even for a moment we'll become self-conscious thinking of what someone said."
 
I thought, "Not with the breath!  A thousand self-conscious thoughts can come, but they cannot harm the performance.  They are just reminders to go back to the breath."  I should have said that to her.  But I felt particularly grateful at that moment for the technique which allows tremendous freedom and takes me out of my head.  There were moments on stage over the last couple of days where I was not only focused on my breath, but I was focused on breath.  Like I could feel all of us breathing together.  I think that was particularly the case during last night's performance - when everyone jumped to their feet in an instant.
 
I am so grateful for the opportunity to continue putting into practice what you teach.
 
Much love,
 
Libby


 

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