I was struggling to find some reason I was out there on the stage. I guess it
was like I was trying to play the entire show instead of living moment to
moment.
Sunday I fell a bit into a couple of my traps. The first being, "Last night
was so good so just do that again." The second being, and this is harder to
explain, "This can't be good because I am not creating on the spot but just
revealing material I discovered last night." I caught myself early on though
and just went to my breath. Re-discovered, Discovery for the 2000th time: "It
is none of my business whether or not it is any good. It is none of my
business whether or not the material is exactly the same, a little different
or altogether different from another performance. It is my business to do
what I have to do to find a free breath 'cause what could feel better in the
world then a free breath followed by another one followed by another. I truly
didn't know whether or not the performance was any good. After one of the most
poorly written scenes of the show, the guy I work with most on the stage,
Norman, the old Brit Music Hall guy, came up to me and said, "Hey, that scene
finally worked, what were you doing out there?" I just smiled at him and took
another free breath."
Stephen Ringold