Hello, Carol.
I was in the OB/OT in Seattle a few weeks ago. I was in the hugely
frustrating courtroom scene and later read from Who's Afraid of Virginia
Woolf with Tim. Since I've been processing for a few weeks and have read
your book, I wanted to let you know what I've been thinking. Though I don't
think I'll really connect with everything until I start putting it into
practice.
First, so you'll know where I'm coming from, I'll tell you a bit about my
background and previous training. I've been performing professionally since
I was a child, and I was one of those unfortunate people who was told "you
can't sing" as a child. I appreciate your views on that topic, and I'm
trying to learn to trust myself. I got my degree in theater from
northwestern university - a marvelous program overall, but I had an acting
teacher whose first comment after my freshman year final project was "Why
did you even bother?" she also gave me lovely little gems like "the only
Chekhov role you'll ever play is Olga" and "you're just not pretty enough to
play Elena."
So I let her get to me, and I left NU feeling like I was a playwright, but
not really an actress. In the few years since graduation, I have focused on
playwrighting, which is a great passion, but I have also really started to
ache for performance. I moved to Seattle just a few months ago because of
its theater scene and the OB/OT was my first acting class since Northwestern.
The exercise that turned into the courtroom scene was so frustrating, I was
so angry, I cried through lunch, I didn't think I was getting ANYTHING out
of this workshop. and then I got up to do the Virginia Woolf reading. and
I experienced a spontaneity and connection to my scene partner and trusting
my
own responses that I had never had on stage before. I have to honestly say
I'm still not sure what happened. I wish I knew. Part of it was this -
during the previous exercise, you stopped us about every thirty seconds (at
least in the beginning). this pissed me off, because I felt like I couldn't
get anywhere. but what I realize now is that the "off-balance" part of the
workshop was happening. You had me so off-kilter, there was no way I could
get myself "situated" and "comfortable" with what was happening - which was
exactly the point. I get too comfortable. I rely on what comes easily to
me and don't let myself go to the scary places. By the time we got to the
Virginia Woolf, I realized what the hell, I wasn't going to get my balance
back and I had to dive in. I also really trusted Tim, which helped. Even
though he was struggling, I knew he was someone I could really trust with
whatever happened.
I'm very interested in the breath work, but I feel like we didn't get too
far with it in the workshop. Do you ever do workshops in Seattle where you
do more extensive teaching of "on-the-breath" work? I have been very aware
of my breath just in day to day life, and also in rehearsals I have just
started for a fringe festival production of Two Gentlemen of Verona. (I'm
playing Lucetta, Eglamour and one of the Outlaws.) but aside from being
aware of when I'm breathing and when I'm not, I'm not sure how to use that
awareness.
So that's where I am a couple weeks later. I'll definitely be at the next
workshop you do in Seattle. I really thank you for everything and I hope to
work with you again soon.
Joy